Fortieth Anniversary

Welcome, welcome family and friends

To Karl and Eileen’s anniversary party.

Those not here their best wishes send

And we all give our love, hale and hearty.

We gather together on this auspicious day

To pay tribute to this once bride and groom,

To remind them of their glorious glory days,

To predict the future holds more than gloom.

So where to begin as we begin our roast,

Should the tale we tell be chronological?

Or, as we raise our glass to offer a toast,

Should we stick with something more comical?

We must ponder, percolate and ruminate on these questions

For the answer will direct our tale.

And the first answers aren’t necessarily the best ones

Lest our story get old, worn and stale.

But for the beginning, the beginning is fine

It will give us a point of reference.

From there we will journey oblivious to time

We will not give time any deference.

Ladies go first, so let’s start with Eileen,

She was born an army brat;

Her dad called her Duchess, and she was a dancing queen,

Now tell me, who wouldn’t want a woman like that?

And then there was Karl, what can you say,

He was born and raised on a farm.

But he wouldn’t let that stand in his way,

And Eileen wasn’t prepared for his charm.

So how in the world did these two meet,

The world traveler and the farm boy?

Could there be a story more sweet,

Or a couple who has seen more joy?

They met at work, is what we hear,

But they weren’t even the same age.

Besides, Eileen had a missionary she held dear,

In fact, to him she was engaged.

But to Karl that was a minor detail

Because the missionary wasn’t even around.

And he had plans he didn’t plan to curtail,

Just listen, “Karl and Eileen”, what a perfect sound.

So Karl turned on the farm-boy charm

And Eileen, well she couldn’t resist.

Her missionary got a Dear John to his great harm

And Karl got the best on the list.

You might find this hard to believe,

But these opposites did attract.

Parents on both sides did grieve;

To their plans, this was a grievous setback

The Harts had a dream for their baby girl

For her life had been quite cosmopolitan,

Debutante balls where she could twirl,

Something more urbane, more metropolitan.

And the Keslers were really no different

When it came to whom they thought would be best.

A city girl didn’t have the right temperament,

But a country girl would certainly pass the test.

In spite of this well known opposition,

Karl and Eileen still planned to wed.

No disapproval could change their disposition,

They simply closed their ears to all that was said.

And so it happened on a Spring day in May,

In the Logan temple, in the State of Utah,

Karl and Eileen, kneeling at the altar that day,

In the mirrors’ reflection sweet eternity saw.

Sealed to them were the children who would come,

Who could’ve known they would number six?

Five girls and a boy, all delightful and winsome,

A better bunch to make a family you couldn’t handpick.

For the chronological part, that was it;

We are through genuflecting to time.

Let’s now dwell on memories a bit,

Something from each child in the line.

When the family gathered round to pray

And the turn would fall to Greg,

He’d say, “I’ve already said five prayers today -

Let someone else say it,” he’d beg.

Greg was all boy down to the core,

With that, no one would argue.

Cars, motorcycles, mountain bikes were never a bore,

Of each he’d come to have one or two.

Connie was born a girl of California

So you’d expect she’d grow up a vamp.

But she didn’t, so it might surprise ya

To learn, at fifteen, she was sent home from camp.

For Connie, fifteen didn’t treat her so kind,

Even though she was cute and growing pretty.

With hormones changing, emotions were in a bind,

When she fell off the swing in the park named Liberty.

Sheri, another born a California native,

Thought, as a kid, she had it pretty hard.

Curfews and restrictions wouldn’t let her live,

That’s what she gets for changing her report card.

Now, this ain’t a reflection on her schoolin’,

But it may argue against a Midas touch.

When she bought her first car, and I ain’t foolin’,

On the way home in her new Hyundai she burned out the clutch.

Jodi, the third daughter but fourth in line,

Not one known for loud shoutin’,

Gave Karl and Eileen quite the scare one time,

As Karl chased her when she tumbled down the mountain.

This same Jodi, as you know, is not a big eater,

Although Jay might ask me to take that back.

But in size she can’t be more than half a liter,

Which is probably why she had to share her Big Macs.

Surprise! It’s time to talk about Stacie.

As everyone knows she really was a surprise.

And she actually turned out to be quite brainy,

Something no one in family would have surmised.

Remember how she loved to jump on the tramp?

Going all out she feared no harm.

Flips, splits, she thought she was the champ,

Until that big fall when she broke her arm.

Then came Kristi, Stacie’s little play buddy.

We wonder if something’s not quite right;

We think her thinking must be a little muddy,

‘Cause once out a window, she tried to take flight.

At church once, Kristi split her head open.

The ward searched for Karl and Eileen high and low.

If only there had been cell phones back then,

Karl and Eileen might not have returned with Braums in tow.

Some memories are not child specific,

But involve the whole family.

Vacations, restaurants, moves from the Pacific,

Many of these we will tell happily.

Now, no one eat Karl and Eileen’s green olives,

You’d be playing with your life fast and loose.

But when the jar is empty, Karl and Eileen are happy to give

The green liquid Greg and Connie called bat juice.

The bat juice was drunk usually in the car

On family vacations, those long drives non-stop.

After the juice the kids bellied up to the bar,

Where the six kids could all share one pop.

When the family vacation took them too far,

A motel wasn’t out of the question.

Karl would say, “Kids, you stay in the car;”

Eileen would add, “That means hide during check-in”.

Days at Lagoon and Liberty Park picnics,

To Utah the family would often go.

Eating at Snappy Burger until they were sick,

Hearing about the world famous K-saw-diya taco.

With the kids all grown, Karl and Eileen still take trips.

Recently, to Florida Stacie was invited to go.

This left Stacie with a memory she will never forget,

Karl, in his Garmies, with binoculars looking out the window.

Six kids in a house?  There’s not enough room.

Karl and Eileen couldn’t afford a mansion;

So the dining room transformed to a bedroom,

The Keslers had started a new fashion.

Karl’s handiwork went over with a bang,

The kids never had reason to roam.

Even as teenagers Stacie and Kristi still sang,

“I’m So Glad When Daddy Comes Home.”

Soon arrived the day of Karl and Eileen’s dreams,

When the kids had all moved out.

The house no longer bulged at the seams,

Yet Karl and Eileen wanted more room to move about.

One day driving around in the mood they were in, 

They really found their dream mansion.

Now, as Stacie moves back in,

There is no need for the “added wall” fashion.

A house this big requires special décor

To make sure that nothing lacks;

These decorations don’t come in just any store,

Only in Canton can you get these knick-knacks.

Well, “only in Canton” is what Karl and Eileen used to think

For decorations with the special homey touch,

Until Natalie introduced the Estes Park link;

Now its Estes Park for eagles, furniture and such.

Another joyous memory the family won’t soon forget,

One that will make us all laugh and giggle

And turn our thoughts to the beloved Kesler pets

Is when they all got ringworm from Wiggles.

It is no secret that the Keslers like dogs;

Well, perhaps that fondness comes from the Harts.

Their homes have never been without,

In fact, they have had dogs right from the start.

When Karl first met the betrothed Eileen,

Timmy was already part of her life.

Now Karl, on this pet idea wasn’t too keen,

But he went along so he could land this wife.

That early acquiescence he will always regret;

Since then his house has never been without.

Oh sure, he’s come to love one or two of these pets,

But mostly they’ve just made him want to shout.

So back to Timmy, Eileen’s only dowry;

The dog grew old and he died.

The back yard seemed like a fine place to bury

This pet who spent so much time at their side.

And when they moved, Eileen couldn’t leave him behind,

Why, he was such a part of the Kesler clan.

So Karl pretended that he really didn’t mind,

And started digging, with the boy scouts lending a hand.

After Timmy was Wiggles, another story, get ready -

He was the ringworm dog – but there’s more to tell;

Green hair that had to be cut with a machete,

He really was the dog from hell.

There were other dogs over the years,

But none as beloved as Muffin, the sewer rat,

Who without much effort still brings Karl to tears;

Thank you, Sheri, for bringing home a dog like that.

Ah Muffin, long the love of Eileen’s life

And long Karl’s primary nemesis.

Within the home she’s never the source of strife;

Seems like she’s been around since the genesis.

We have spoken of family, pets and vacations,

Yet there is more that this clan defines;

I’m talking about the source of their transportation,

Cars, for which they have a love sublime.

In his cars, Karl likes power,

Though he’s not known to speed.

He also likes lots of gadgets -

The ones he does and doesn’t need.

But like the house, Karl and Eileen had to start small,

They couldn’t start with those dreams in their heads.

For their early transportation to the mall,

They settled for a Pinto Wagon – candy-apple red.

Perhaps that soured them on the Ford,

For all cars after came from Chrysler;

Or maybe they were tired of following the horde,

And the Chrysler just seemed a bit nicer.

Now, like the house, the car is top of the line,

The sassy, sleek, and sexy 300M.

Eileen gets the cosmopolitan and the fine,

She drives in class with the best of them.

Now don’t feel sorry for Karl,

He also rides with class;

The riding mower shows quite the style,

While he scoots around the yard on his a--

As for where we go from here,

Let’s hope it’s not a turn for the worse;

Although to the end we are getting near,

We don’t know how long we can keep up this verse?

Food is an important part of the Kesler worldview,

It colors and shades important relations.

For Eileen, to a person’s heart it is a view,

For Karl, it is a sumptuous sensation.

A long time ago, dinner for the newlyweds

Was specially prepared late at night.

Eileen would come home after the kids were in bed,

And Karl made nachos, cutting the cheese just right.

Moving up from Nachos but not leaving its ethnicity,

Karl and Eileen were eating more and more on the go;

For Taco Bueno was a part of any big city

And they used real beef in their taco.

As a sign of their success, from Taco Bueno they moved on

To yet another Mexican place, mama mia;

A place where they were waited upon,

Where the helpings were huge, where else but Tia’s?

But even Tia’s wasn’t high falootin’ enough,

Not even for Jay, the little stinkah;

There’s a new restaurant with new stuff,

Now all Jay says is, “how about La Finca?”

Because they eat out so much you may not be in the know,

But as a cook Eileen is truly a winner;

And on the kids birthday she put on quite a show

By cooking the kids’ favorite dinner.

And its not just on special days

That she will ply her culinary skill;

She used to make roast every Sunday,

And it’s not unusual to see a Sunday roast still.

Even us in-laws have been subjected

To Eileen’s love she serves with each meal;

And none of us has ever objected

To taking seconds, else we would feel like heels.

Besides, refusing seconds is not really an option,

It’s an action that would bring great scorn,

An act of throwing to the wind all caution,

Which is Scott’s excuse for his third helping of corn.

In the kitchen, Eileen is quite adept,

In fact, you could say she is The Mastah;

But Brian won’t call her that yet

Because she still hasn’t made him kielbasa.

Kesler dinner traditions have certainly changed,

A fact that leaves us sad, sore and achin’,

Like not seeing out the window Wiggles green mane,

Like the dinner rag that doubled as napkin.

Ah traditions! Were they real or fable?

The dinner games played without a care,

The whispers rushed around the table,

“Quick, everybody, at Jodi stare.”

Memories are now swimming in our heads,

So much more than we can say now and here;

Still, some things can’t be left unsaid,

A few more memories we will hear.

Can anyone imagine Karl without a Coke,

Or his girls not bumming a drink?

Can anyone imagine Karl not saying “skosh”,

Or to his children’s foibles not giving a wink?

And what about the encouraging line

That gets the family really fired up,

As Karl sits in his chair and reclines,

Asking his kids to play Jolly Jump Up?

Can anyone imagine Eileen not before a computer?

Sitting up straight in her chair,

Remember Stacie and Kristi gathered ‘round her,

Putting ribbons and bows in her hair?

Eileen’s love for Muffin we can’t exaggerate,

Although we’re not sure why Muffin’s so fat.

Eileen uses only the best table scraps as bait,

But we’re sure it has nothing to do with that!

Karl and Eileen have spent forty years together,

Side by side is how we will always see them,

In bucket seats, or easy chairs of leather,

With their kids and grandkids around to greet ‘em.

We know these lines, written playful and coy,

Could never contain the wonderful life

Of this humble, good-natured, Northwestern farm boy

And his beautiful, cosmopolitan wife.

May 2003